Sunday, July 31, 2011

Yesterday DID NOT go as planned.

(picture is of a guy. He's Bou, ex-guitarist from Antic Cafe.)
I...kinda really badly messed up. I think it was my first real binge. It was pretty bad. I was eating for the sake of eating. I had two slices of pizza, two poptarts, some Cheese Nips, and finally a granola bar.
I'm giving up on ABC, at least for now. I may try again later, when I'm back on my game, but with all of these mistakes so early into it, I'm pretty bummed.
Right now, we have Greek yogurt. It's really...fluffy. We got the vanilla kinda because Mom doesn't ever us yogurt in her cooking and the plain kind tastes like sour cream. For a cup of this vanilla kind it's 190 calories. We have a small container left over from when we were "trying" them and it's 127 (actually, 126 point six repeating). So totally my breakfast/really early morning snack. I dun know why I'm even up this early. It's a total epic fail.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

300 Calorie Limit


Snack Bar (I know I'm gonna regret this): 160
Soup (lunch): 60
Soup (supper): 60
Diet soda: 0
Leaves 20.
What to waste the 20 on?

Friday, July 29, 2011

Today was bad, yesterday was ok.


Tomorrow is 300 calories. I hope I sleep most of the day. It's pretty easy to keep dinner light.
At Anna's, my weight was about 127. ^^

Thursday, July 28, 2011



Today, I've had 4 pretzels, countless mints (probably like 15), and a diet soda. That makes me about 300. If I eat the salad Mom got me yesterday, I'll be good. I'll be under 500. I'm thinking about starting ABC. It's pretty harsh and I'm starting my sophomore year soon, though. I guess it'd be about willpower and wanting thin more than anything else, though. It'd be easy for a while. Then I'd want to binge. I'll be great, though.
For those of you who haven't seen it before:

Day 1: 500 calories (or less)
Day 2: 500 calories (or less)
3: 300 calories
4: 400 calories
5: 100 calories
6: 200 calories
7: 300 calories
8: 400 calories
9: 500 calories
10: Fast
11: 150 calories
12: 200 calories
13: 400 calories
14: 350 calories
15: 250 calories
16: 200 calories
17: Fast
18: 200 calories
19: 100 calories
20: Fast
21: 300 calories
22: 250 calories
23: 200 calories
24: 150 calories
25: 100 calories
26: 50 calories
27: 100 calories
28: 200 calories
29: 200 calories
30: 300 calories
31: 800 calories
32: Fast
33: 250 calories
34: 350 calories
35: 450 calories
36: Fast
37: 500 calories
38: 450 calories
39: 400 calories
40: 350 calories
41: 300 calories
42: 250 calories
43: 200 calories
44: 200 calories
45: 250 calories
46: 200 calories
47: 300 calories
48: 200 calories
49: 150 calories
50: Fast

This will take me until September to finish. I think I'll make a blog for it, tbh.

Americaneagle: Sorry I made you worry. I ended up eating a little and did feel better. Again, I'm really sorry I made you worry. In case you can't tell, I've become quite the mess, to the point I worry myself. I'll try to never pass out, just so that the both of us don't have to worry.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

I don't eat half of the day


I have one meal.
I only have a few snacks.
Today, I think I almost fainted.
No one except my little brother and older brother would have known.
It wouldn't have mattered.
Today, I was so hungry, I went back to bed to forget the pain.
Today... A lot happened.
I haven't been fasting.
I was just running on absolutely nothing.
Not even water.
Now, I'm pretty sure I'm a prisoner to this.
I don't know if I like that or not.
Lottie X: Thank you. ^^ I hope it gets better soon too. I hate being in pain for too long.

I don't know my calories


But I'm always hungry.
Lottie: I some how hurt my left knee, so I'm taking pain pills.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Been up since 11


And it's about three-thirty now. I have had 30 calories. But I have to eat, I know I do. Why? Well, I'm going to have "prescription strength" pain pills and you can't take them without food. So, that 30 is probably going to be something like 430 by the time today is over. All I've had so far is coffee. With creamer. There's the 30 calories. Haven't weighed myself yet today. I'll get my coffee and do that.

Weight is...129. Ugh! I'm stuck here. =( I hate being 129. I wanna be 120 and lower and lovely.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Anna's birthday I did GREAT


I did amazing for Anna's birthday. Yesterday, though, I had TWO pieces of cake. That's more than I had for Anna's birthday. We went to a concert and I had a soda! Regular soda! But I jumped until my knee started hurting. I should've bit through the pain and jumped around some more.

Anna's birthday... Was wow. I.M. didn't tell me to eat more than what I ate. I had hardly anything. A few bites of nasty, grilled tofu, some slices of grill zucinni, a bite of grilled green onion, some popcorn (with butter, ugh), and a few bites of icing.

Weight? I dunno.


Kes: That's exactly what I did. Thank you for the advice! ^^ I also had two glasses of water really quickly together so I was fuller. If they had asked, I could have blamed it on a small stomach.

americaleagel: I had a fantastic time. Everyone was lovely and we went to see the new Harry Potter movie right after the party. I felt very loved and it wasn't even my party. Haha

Friday, July 22, 2011

Today will not be good.


I have a birthday party to go to. They're making food especially for me. I hate it. Cake, grilled veggies, whatever else they can think of to shove down my throat. Why can't I just come up with a reason to refuse? I'll feel mean. Fail.

Thursday, July 21, 2011



So, I'm fasting today. Or I'm supposed to. I mean, there's gonna be CAKE there tomorrow. I told my crush/best friend I would eat some of the cake. They're also grilling, but being polite and grilling veggies and, if they can, tofu. Can you grill tofu? I don't know if you can or not.
Why do my friend's parents have to think about me? This means I'll feel like I have to eat because they made it just for me.
Sammy: I'd never be able to just assume when I've gone over. If I really want to know the calorie count of it, I sit down and think about everything I've eaten and then I look up the calorie amount or use the amount I know.Thanks, I hope I do well at her party too. :/ Also hope I got her something she wants.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Fat, Fat, FAT


Reese's Pieces, about 3 servings(150*3=450), cheese(60), and and...there's more, I know there is! I just... can't think of any. So...there's probably not. That's under six hundred calories. That's...not so bad. I got a diet soda, so it doesn't count. It's diet Dr. Pepper. Zero calories.
Tomorrow, I have to fast. I said I would before Anna's birthday party and tomorrow is the last day. So I HAVE to. Absolutely.
My intake wasn't that good at the end of the day, though. It was about 1500. :/ Which sucks.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011


That's my calories so far.
But I haven't gone out to my grandma's yet, so unless we go around six or seven in the evening, it's gonna be worse. A lot worse.
Weight this morning with my P.J.'s on was 135. I'm subtracting a pound because of clothing, bracelets, earrings, ect... So, we're going with 134.
My legs look thinner. Not since yesterday, but since I REALLY looked at them. I took a picture of them just to see if it was true.It is. They're not super thin, but they're thinner. Which is a start. Remember, you're working to look not like this.By the way, I did not wear those boots around today. Really think they're cute, but they look pretty winter-ish.

Lottie X: I actually had a wonderful day yesterday, just not...foodwise.

Kes: The markings on our scale are sooo tiny, so I can't really tell what it says without bending down, but then they change because I'm putting more pressure on it. See I'm usually the one getting other people's clothes. And I hate it. Haha

Edit: Ugh! Right after posting I go and eat 350 calories.

Monday, July 18, 2011



It's two-thirty.
I've been up since eleven-thirty.
I've brushed my teeth, washed my face, put on eyeliner, watched a TV special about Harry Potter (♥), found my favorite jacket, oh and not eaten.
Only drank part of a bottle of water, a full bottle of water, and two classes of coffee.
Feeling freaking great. Other than the music on the radio sucks and my little brother's using the other computer so I can't blast my ears out with great music. Oh and my headphones are dying so they block out sound, but sound like crap.
Huh, I kinda wonder where my Choir hoodie went.
Burn calories tearing my room apart looking for it? Sounds like a good idea. See, I love my choir hoodie. It's huge on me and really thick. Perfect for when I don't want to wear a coat in winter.
Only, I have no clue where it's wondered off to.

I knew I was forgetting something.
Weight this morning: 136/135. I couldn't really tell which. Of course, I'll be weighing myself later tonight.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

I'm an Idiot.

That whole thing about me being beautiful?
Can't be true.
Eating makes me sick. Almost literally. I went into the bathroom after eating a side salad, cherry pie, and drinking half a powerade/hi-c mix. Nearly got on my knees and made myself puke for the first time ever. But I didn't.
Calorie count was up at around 1040. Not "normal" but it will make me fat. Especially with how much sugar and fat stuff I had.